funny jokes

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An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. —Beverly Gross

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for...

My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or meet for any of the tests. Is this a problem?” —Carol Harper

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My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or...

Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room

Me: How old are your kids?

Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13.

Me: That’s quite the age difference!

Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. —Mria Murillo

There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaser—that's why we call them that! So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around, and don't forget to pass them on to your equally immature friends.

Get ready to laugh, hard. Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience.

That's it for now! Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!

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funny jokes

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